It’s almost Thanksgiving, and we know what that means… yes, turkey, football, and some knockdown, drag-out family feuds! I have come up with my Top 10 List of how to avoid a family feud this Thanksgiving.
- Tell Mom that her mashed potatoes are perfect, even though they’re as lumpy as the fairways of St. Andrew’s.
- Keep any and all political banter to yourself. Better yet, have everybody agree that Tom Turkey is their favorite candidate.
- Don’t rig the Secret Santa game where the rich brother gets you, again.
- Laying out your brother-in-law with a flagrant clip in the annual Turkey Bowl is not a good idea.
- It’s nobody’s fault but your own if you elect to go to the mall on Black Friday. So keep the bickering to yourself.
- Do not pass judgment on your mother-in-law if she happens to be one of those people who snorts when she laughs.
- Nobody likes a boozed-up, blubbering idiot that suddenly has all the answers to everything.
- If your college daughter’s new boyfriend happens to show up in acid-washed jeans, don’t pass judgment.
- If your college daughter’s new boyfriend happens to show up in acid-washed jeans and a perm, then it’s time to take action.
And the Number One way to avoid a family feud this Thanksgiving is… always, always serve yourself a portion of the cranberry salad, even if you don’t intend to eat it.
My thanks to all of you.